How to Beat the Perfection Disease
Guest Blog by Cheryl Bigus
Life is trying things to see if they work.
I used to think I wasn’t inflicted with the disease called Perfection. I realized there were certain aspects of my life where I was living in the “when this happens…” or “if that happens…”. Those two statements are passive which is completely contradictory to how I live and how we raise our children.
When we think in terms like those we aren’t living in the present, we are projecting out into the future which is entirely different than planning for the future.
It reinforces the story that you aren’t perfect; you are damaged, and you need fixing. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t try to be a better you but living in the “only ifs” isn’t working toward betterment; it is wishful thinking backed up by inaction.
Here are some very common examples of living with the “when and if” disease:
You don’t want to wear a bathing suit to the beach because you haven’t lost that 20 pounds. (Been here, done that).
What are you missing when you skip playing in the water with your family?
You buy prepackaged “food” because it is cheaper and easier than planning and preparing. It’s only cheaper on the front end, everyone that eats this way may save 15 minutes in prep time but pays for it in health problems later. Many people live here because they are afraid that they can’t cook or will screw up the food. Remember: “Practice makes perfect.”
Think long and hard on that one; perfection lies in the EFFORT, not the result.
You compare your house/life/business to your friends and peers. When we compare our lives to others, it removes the joy from our lives and gives our power to imaginary circumstances. We never know what it’s like in someone else’s shoes even if they have a better house, make more money and seem happier.
Only what goes on in your life is truly your business and the real place of contentment.
You make little effort when living in the quest of “perfect”. The ideal of perfection is defeating for so many because it places us in the wrong so no matter what effort we make, it will never be right; we will never have the right hair color, the perfect relationship, be the ideal weight or have a perfect life.
This leaves us spinning in a place of self-perpetuating anxiety.
When you want to be perfect, even when you don’t admit that to yourself, you are chasing something that doesn’t exist. It is an immeasurable ideal that changes with each person. Wanting everything to be perfect led me to inaction in building my business, now I put in my best effort knowing that I will know more tomorrow than yesterday and all is right with the world because I am putting my positive energy out there.
Before I wasn’t putting any energy out there and living in “when this happens”.
It took me a long time to love that I am quirky and live outside of others ideals of how I should be living my life. Now I see my life as Perfect because I focus on the joy and happiness that I have right now while still working toward the goal of being healthy, physically fit, a good partner to my husband, a good mother to my children and putting in every effort into my endeavors.
It’s the presence, and the actions that I see as perfect and that brings me true happiness and abundance.
Every day it takes effort to stay present and be happy in right now. When we have an ideal of what is perfect, we take the powers of action and self-worth out of our hands and hand it over to a make-believe fantasy that doesn’t exist.
How can you let go of perfection in your life?